Friday, December 3, 2010

Attention: The Woman Code Has Been Broken

I have a fat bone to pick with all of my lady friends and family who have been pregnant. I am not sure why fellow women leave out the real truth of pregnancy. I was never warned about the real “joys” of pregnancy. I am not sure if I have known these beforehand would have helped or made it worse but at least I was somewhat aware what was about to occur. The following are just my current struggles :

- I lay in bed trying to sleep and I spit up in my mouth like a newborn baby. A bottle of tums now sits next to my alarm clock.

- There are already stretch marks appearing on my unrecognizable body. I look like I just visited a plastic surgeon and got marked up with that dreaded purple marker.

- My face, hands, and feet look like I am allergic to Charlotte. Everything is swollen. No more wedding ring and no more double narrow feet.

- I have always had a soft spot for Africa but I never thought I would be able to relate to the women, i.e. national geographic boobies.

- Gas. I poot and burp without any warning and apologizes for that matter.

- I grunt when I stand up, bend down, roll over.

- My breathing resembles a 60 year obese man.

Again, these are just some of my current struggles. I am truly not meaning to be negative but being honest with what comes along with pregnancy. After all of that negativity I must end on a positive note: I am 29 weeks today and absolutely LOVE feeling Lottie kick and see her moving around in my belly. That is something you will never hear me complain about!

1 comment:

  1. pregnancy is definitely NOT pretty. pretty much if not for those sweet little kicks and that you can eat whatever you want whenever you want it, it's the worst thing ever.