Thursday, March 21, 2013


Charlotte just turned two and we are in the midst of toddlerhood. I will say this age has been the toughest, most exhausting, and weirdly enough the most rewarding.  Most of the days I will count the hours to bedtime so I can just sit. The other day I put her to bed and I just sat for a full hour in silence. I didn't read or play on the computer; I sat in silence. It is exactly what my mind and body needed.

It has been a lose/lose lately. We lose when we stay at home all day and we lose when we head out for the day. At home, every activity that ends a new tantrum begins.  Then when we go to our go to places (Barnes and Nobel, the park, the mall) she has the most horrendous fits in public. I mean on a a new level. I am scared to stay home and more scared to leave home.

I feel like I am failing on a daily basis and for a perfectionist that is a tough pill to swallow. I want to wave my white flag in defeat and tell my two year old she won. But as I am waiving that flag I look at her. I mean really look at her. Everyday I get to witness her explore the world and become her own little person. How amazing is that? What a gift I have been given.

So I am learning toddlers are just plain hard. They are mean, they break stuff, they are messy, they test your patience, they have no boundaries, and most importantly they have no boundaries with love. They love so great they do not know how to process it. My most amazing moments in life have been when out of the blue Charlotte will hold my hand or plant a big wet kiss on me. That is love. I know God gives me these moments to reassure me and encourage me to keep trying.

I will keep reminding myself I can do this and I can do this with grace. It is a season and I will embrace it has much as I can. So cheers, with the best champagne money can buy, to all the other Mom's with toddlers.

1 comment:

  1. Ash!! You are doing a marvelous job with Charlie girl. You are always doing special things with her that you know she loves. You are patient and nurturing and at the end of the day that is all that matters. You are such a good mom to Charlotte. We sure do love you guys!!